Sunday, February 22, 2009

How to Lose a Husband in 10 Hours

10. Drop him off at the pier before the sun rises

9. Clean every surface of your shared home

8. Wash all the linens so as to leave no trace of his wonderful smell (which makes you tear, dern ol factory stirring up nostalgia)

7. Air out the couch cushions in the sunshine on the back porch

6. Play with the dog in a vain attempt to distract him from his constant search through the house-- looking for said departed hubby

5. Reclaim the coat closet and put away all the wonderful coats that smell like him, in his closet, in the guest bedroom, away from your ol-factory senses

4. Watch an uber girlie, independent film that he would hate, such as The Duchess

3. Clean out the fridge, freezer, and pantry and organize items at your height

2. Put away his toiletries and reclaim the guest bathroom as the guest bathroom

1. Invite a fellow married, geographically separated bachelor as your date to the annual Chamber of Commerce dinner; thereby, inherently starting the rumor mill a-going.

4 comments:

Flo said...

#3 is SO first on my list today!! Clearing out the boy (read: junk) food and moving all the dishes to reachable heights. :) I love this list, although I'm of course not happy for the reason it was written. You better bring the camera along for the dinner to fuel the online rumor mill too ;) Silly gossipers.

Lance said...

Christina...what a great list. I know the other party in #1. Please, no one would think for a minute that he could snag a beauty like you. Don't get me wrong, he is nice and all. But please. You are way to gorgeous for that guy. Keep busy. The 'Big Guy' will be back soon enough. L

Mom said...

Oh shut up! This Mermaid, has her very own Hero!

Mike said...

Lance...#1 is the best by far - Naturally I'd say that since I was the lucky date. Christina, thank you for a lovely time. I am sure we are the talk of Kodiak. :)