10. You have dined at three spots recommended by Guy Fieri on Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives, North Pole Edition.
9. You resemble a marshmallow - or that kid from A Christmas Story.
8. Your cocktail comes in a martini glass made of ice.
7. The walkway into the Chena Hot Springs has a hazardous handicap railing.
6. You thought your husband had big feet-- and then you saw them in bunny boots.
5. Everything is so dry you do not have to clean your ears 'cause there is no wax (gross but true).
4. Caribou hides cover your bed.
3. Cars take shortcuts along the frozen Chena River rather than the road.
2. Sled rides are in high demand.
1. The road signs read: Fairbanks, 10 miles; Fox, 18 miles; Circle, 162 miles. That's right: they drop the "Arctic" because the temperature alone lets you know you are close!